Existential geekery...

...thoughts on beauty journalism and how it's changed, women making time for skincare, the gender getting ready gap, and my French supermarket fancies...

Looking the part

How important is what I look like to you? Do you feel that I need to look a certain way to be an authority in the beauty industry? This has been something that has been preoccupying me for a while but it sort of came into sharp focus this week in various different ways.

Last week, I wrote about The Lipstick Lesbians new venture, Leaked Labs, and BritishBeautyBlogger also flagged it, commenting that “Inexplicably, Reddit is not happy.” I asked her why and she told me “They don’t like the way they apply their own make up, apparently 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄”

A couple of days later, I sat down with Phoebe Parke who had offered me a social media audit (if you’re interested in how you show up online, you should definitely subscribe to her newsletter) and we were talking about my Instagram. One of the things she told me was that my face should be on every post. “What? I can’t just post my features any more?” “You can,” she said, “but do it with a green screen so your feature is behind you and you’re talking about it.”

My Instagram grid where I try VERY hard not to show my own face unless I have to

And she’s right, I know she’s right, I know the algorithm rewards real people and real faces and I know that people want to do business with a person they can relate to rather than just a faceless entity. But, but, but… I never went into this business (journalism, initially and more recently, consultancy, rather than beauty) because I wanted to be the story. I never really wanted it to be about me. I want it to be about the people that I meet, about what they know. My skills are not theirs.

I can’t apply makeup like Bobbi Brown; I can’t do nails like Marian Newman; I can’t do hair like Sam McKnight. I can’t diagnose skin conditions like Emma Craythorne; I can’t inject Botox like Wassim Taktouk; I can’t formulate products like Nausheen Qureshi; I can’t do scientific research like Mike Bell.

But what I can do is ask them questions about the work they do to make it easier for people who don’t do what they do to understand it. I can write what they tell me in a way that — hopefully — makes it comprehensible for the lay person. I can work out what might be an interesting and new angle on a story. I can identify what aspects of a story might appeal to different audiences. I can pull together multiple different stories and ideas and make connections between them in a way that someone else might not have done. I can sniff out when something isn’t quite adding up and I can dig down into it. I know who to ask about different aspects of the industry, who might know the thing I want to know that I don’t. Or at least the person who might know the thing if they don’t.

And I always thought that those were the skills I needed as a journalist. But a few years ago, journalism changed. And maybe it wasn’t just journalism, maybe it was everything, but that’s my industry and so that’s where I noticed it. And maybe it was the arrival of social media, or maybe it would have happened anyway, but gradually journalism became about the individual writer. Of course, there had always been columnists writing about their own experiences, and what an old editor of mine called “the jumping out the plane girl” — someone who goes to try things out and writes about it, but that was some of the offering, not all of it.

But then magazines like Elle stopped using models for fashion features and started using their staff instead. And beauty features shifted from showing what trends looked like on a model to showing what they looked like on the people who were writing them. And confessional journalism became the way young female journalists got a hold in the industry (or took leaps and bounds forwards) — by writing about their divorces, and miscarriages, and heartbreaks, and addictions, and shame — rather than writing about other people’s. And editors started saying things to me like:

“Could you write something like ‘As a knackered mother of two kids who never sleep, I’ll take any beauty shortcuts I can’ into the introduction, and maybe give us your feedback on the changes you’ve noticed in your own skin over the last few months using it?”

when I filed pieces about the science behind a night cream. Even though I’d never pitched it as a personal piece. And my kids do mostly sleep. And I’d only had the lab sample for less than a week.

I’m not saying there isn’t a place for these personal pieces, for the GRWM videos, for the demo-ing on yourself. But the more of that sort of journalism there is, the more it feels like that’s what we all have to be doing. And I don’t like that. I don’t like it broadly, because it feels regressive. It feels like valuing women (and let’s be honest, it is women. I don’t see young male journalists plundering their lives for copy, or being asked to model clothes) for what they look like rather than what they have to say. It feels like it sends a message that journalists also need to be models.

I also don’t like it personally because I never thought what I looked like was the most interesting thing about me. But I increasingly feel like I have to stick my face online. And that to be credible, that face has to be made up, and my hair has to look presentable. And we can pull apart whether that’s internalised misogyny, imaginary pressure or reality, but it is very much how I feel. And that makes me uncomfortable because a) all of this titivating takes up time when I could be writing or researching b) I’m not wildly confident in my own abilities when it comes to doing my hair and makeup and c) as a result I worry that the credibility of what I say is undermined by what I look like. So I’d rather hide behind my words.

Anyway, I’d love to know what you think about all of this. And this isn’t thirst posting looking for reassurance about the way I look or how I do my makeup or hair. I’m genuinely interested in whether you see it in other industries, and if it’s part of a bigger shift that is about personal branding and showing up online, whether you’re a lawyer or an accountant or a medic. I want to know if you’ve noticed that change in journalism, whether you take more notice of people whose faces you see, whether — consciously or otherwise — you trust beauty journalists more if they look more attractive (and can make a decent fist of their own hair and makeup). No judgement here. My own mother once said when discussing two beauty columnists who shall remain nameless “I mean XXXX is no beauty but at least she makes the most of herself. But XXXXX? There’s nothing about her at all that’s aspirational. Why would I care what she has to say?”

(Maybe we’ve got to the root of why this bothers me so much. Eat your heart out, Sigmund Freud.)

Me, recently, no makeup (but post-facial/massage, hence the weird mark across my forehead after being face down on a treatment bed), hair scraped back and in need of roots doing. My melasma is actually worse than it looks here. Maybe I’ll use this pic as the image on this week’s newsletter and see if it increases engagement…

---

A melasma update

I think I’m particularly conscious of how I look at the moment because I think my melasma looks particularly bad. And that’s on me. I’ve had Prof Firas Al-Niami, one of the best dermatologists in the world treating it and prescribing products for me to use, but my compliance with a home routine has been diabolical. Cyspera, which I was originally meant to be using, is a brilliant and effective product with great evidence behind it. But it requires you to put it on and leave it on for 15 minutes before you wash it off. And by the time I’m stumbling into bed, it’s all I can do to wash my face. So I ‘fessed up and we discussed my options and I started using a combination of Skin Rocks The Hyperpigmentation Serum, La Roche Posay Mela B3, and Eucerin Anti-Pigment Day Cream and Night Cream. And honestly the combination, alongside broad spectrum, SPF 50, which is literally the only thing I can guarantee will be on my face every single day, was really effective.

But I ran out of one and didn’t manage to re-purchase, and then I ran out of another, and then I started working out first thing and not always changing and doing skincare straight after and… and… and… and the thing that slipped was my skincare. And even writing this, I caught myself starting to think I was making excuses and that what I should be doing was thinking of ways in which I could change my schedule, and rethink things, and habit stack… And that got me thinking about this post that I’d seen on Instagram the other day from Elizabeth Davies (@thiswomanlifts) who was reading a section from her forthcoming book and talking about some recent research

She said: “I think we are missing a key part of the puzzle if we keep telling overstretched, under-supported women to habit stack and movement snack and magic hack, rather than addressing why women are so overstretched in the first place and why they don’t feel able to claim some time for themselves. Personally I don’t want to do a quick set of squats and push-ups while also preparing everyone’s dinner. And just because I can successfully multi-stack doesn’t mean I should always have to.”

So maybe this is all a wake up call. And I need to rethink my priorities and start making exercise — and my skincare regime — a priority.

---

Gender politics

But I think another reason I’m conscious of how I look and increasingly conscious of the politics of beauty (do read Rachel Lowenstein’s The Hot Girl Arms Race which I mentioned last week if you haven’t already as it very much got me thinking) is because I have two small children who watch me putting makeup on and ask questions about it. And there is nothing that makes you question the validity of cosmetics like having to explain them to a child.

“What’s that?” “It’s a cream called foundation” “Why are you putting it on your face?” “Because I think it makes me look less tired.” “What’s that?” “It’s called bronzer.” “Why are you putting it on your face?” “Because I think it makes me look healthy, like I’ve been in the sun.” “What’s that?” “Mascara, I put it on my eyelashes to make them look longer and make me look more awake.” Etc etc etc. Pared down to the bare bones in a way that a three year old can understand it makes it all sounds totally mad, right?

And nothing makes you question the amount of time you spend getting ready compared to the amount of time your husband spends getting ready like a small child asking “Do all womans [sic] wear make up?” “Not all of them.” “Daddy doesn’t wear makeup.” “No, Daddy doesn’t want to but he could if he wanted to. Anyone — man or woman — who wants to wear makeup can.”

Don’t get me wrong, I love make up. I love being a woman who can transform the way I look using the magical power of cosmetics. Putting on makeup and doing my hair not only makes me feel more presentable but actually makes me happier with the way I look. I can’t tell you if that’s social conditioning or something more innate, but it does. I just wish it didn’t take me so damn long to do it so averagely.

---

Le supermarché sweep

To end on a less existential and more positive note, a quick trip to France reminded me just what great beauty products you can pick up in even the smallest supermarket. Maybe it’s just me fetishising French beauty but I think these are often beautifully packaged, very efficient and/or smell amazing, and not expensive. I’ve previously talked about my love for Le Petit Marseillais Olive Oil Hand Soap and there is very little from Le Petit Marseillais that I don’t love but if you are heading to France for Easter or doing a quick dash to Paris, here are a couple of products to keep an eye out for…

Mixa bébé 2 en 1, €8.50
I buy this in bulk in France and use this slightly citrussy scented all-in-one hair and body wash on my kids. I have no problem using fragranced products on my children (they seem fairly resilient to them) and I love that this is a bit different. I also love that they list all the ingredients and their functions on the back of it:

Le Petit Olivier Savon Extra Doux Lavande, €2.75
These beautifully-wrapped soaps from a brand that is a bit like a competitor to Le Petit Marseillais come in a range of fragrances including lavender and a zesty verveine. Buy three different ones, tie them up with a ribbon and they make a gorgeous gift.

Sanex Protection XXL, €4.99
If you have sensitive skin that needs a bit of extra care, this is what you want, and this monster bottle — 900ml — will last forever. It’s pH neutral, promises 12 hours of hydration, and contains lactic acid, a very gentle exfoliator, and inulin, which is meant to help the skin microbiome.

Le Petit Marseillais Gommant, €7.25
Despite what dermatologists say about how acids are better than gritty scrubs for a more uniform and less damaging exfoliation, I love an old-fashioned scrub. This one blends shea butter, argan oil and crushed almond and feels really satisfying while still leaving skin really soft and moisturised.

Christian Lenart Eau Aromatisée de Roses, €3.99
Again it’s the vintage design of this that draws the eye. Honestly, would I normally recommend an old-school toner (which is effectively what this is)? Probably not, no, if you’re going to add in a step like this to your routine, I think there are many more effective products that you can use. But if you want to role play a grand-mère called Jeanne or Marguerite, this rose-scented water is irresistible.

Mixa Eau Micellaire Apaisante, €2.99
Micellar water isn’t my first choice of cleanser but if you’re lazy / in a hurry / in a fix then micellar water and a cotton wool pad is a FAR better option than a wipe. I really like this one. In France it’s cheaper than the Garnier one, and I slightly prefer the pump to the hole in the top.

---

Do let me know what you plunder French supermarkets for, your thoughts on my various beauty-related existential crises, and anything else you’d like to see in this newsletter in the comments. But that’s all for now, until next time…

Note: I only enthuse about products I really rate, but I can earn commission on products I mention here. If you hate the idea of this, please let me know, as this is very much a work in progress and nothing is set in stone.